Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
