If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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