She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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