I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
