Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
