dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
