either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My hand turned me down
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
