Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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