i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
