why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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