Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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