Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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