vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
