Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
