I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
