My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
