I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
