I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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