Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize