Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
