alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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