***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
