dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
