Say something about gay babies.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
