hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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