how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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