sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
