Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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