The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
