Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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