That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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