ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so that wasnt chicken after all
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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