ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
