i don't like sucking hair
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
