I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
