just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
