So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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