I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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