You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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