Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she peed on how many people?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
