would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i came on her dog
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
