a queef is a wish your heart makes.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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