If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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