It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
