Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
do herpes really smell.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
