I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
