First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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