If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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