yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
