It's just like the Real World with babies
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
