butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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