Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
