I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Randomize
