ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
