Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize