And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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