i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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