He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
