I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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