i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize